Ask and you shall receive...
I feel as though I have had a mental block this last month. I have wanted badly to sit down and blog to you guys, but just couldn't seem to form the words. My heart was there, but my mind has been off in 1000 different directions; unable to land on a clear topic. As with most everything, when I felt that I couldn't articulate my words correctly and blog ideas didn't just come to, I began to question myself. The darkness found its way into a tiny crack in my mind and prayed upon it. It made me start asking myself questions like "Why are you even doing this?", "No one wants to read anything you have to say", "You aren't helping anyone, you are just wasting your time". From there, the darkness crept further into my mind and began to overwhelm me with thoughts and feelings of worthlessness, leading, of course, to all of my physical insecurities. I was on a slippery slope and the light seemed as though it was slipping farther and farther away.
In a small moment of clarity, I decided to take my own advice and "pray through it". No matter the situation, this always helps me. Do my problem magically disappear? No. Do I slip into a state of bliss and feel invincible from any negative thoughts that may come my way? No. Do I feel a sense of peace knowing that God is listening to me, that He loves me and that He DOES hear me? Yes.
I went through the next week or so feeling ok. I definitely didn't feel in despair like I did that day, but I still felt, well...blah. I was no closer to finding a blog inspiration than I was before. I may have mentioned this before, but one of my favorite quiet times is in my car on my way to work. That is where I have some of my best conversations with God. It was actually on that very car ride one day that He spoke to me about starting this blog. I was in the middle of my prayers on my Monday morning ride and decided that I needed to pray specifically about this blog. I prayed that God would give me a sign and let me know that this blog was still part of His work through me. And if it was, that He would give me the words to say because I was still coming up empty.
As soon as I finished, I turned my radio back on and pressed play on Spotify. A new song began to play, one that I have heard time and time again. It was "Beautiful" by Micah Tyler. The key here was that I had "heard" it hundreds of times, but I had never actually "listened" to it. I prayed for God to give me a sign and well, He did. Every single word of every verse of this song was as if he was singing this directly to me. God was speaking to me through this song, when I needed it so desperately....when I had prayed so specifically for it. The song finished playing and I just sat there with tears in my eyes waiting for the light to change. The gravity of what had just happened started to settle in as I let my mind marinate on the lyrics to the song...AND that God was telling me exactly what to blog about.
I have been so inspired by Monica and Laura's recent "Non-Resolution Resolution posts", but yet I find myself falling prey to my insecurities so quickly. Their posts were like the light of a flashlight and could immediately bring a bright light to my darkness...except my flashlight has weak batteries and its light flickers on and off until the darkness returns completely. As you read these words and listen to this song, my prayer is that this resonates with you as it did for me that day. That these words reveal a truth to you that you are, WE are, all beautiful in the eyes of God. That "He loves you just the way you are and nothing you can do could ever change His point of view, He already thinks you're beautiful".
-Michael
BEAUTIFUL - Micah Tyler
Some days I know you see your face in the mirror And your eyes are rest on every flaw You try to hide and cover your imperfections But you really don't feel better at all Don't worry, don't worry He already thinks you're beautiful He loves you just the way you are And nothing you can do Could ever change His point of view He already thinks you're beautiful You're beautiful, you're beautiful You're beautiful, you're beautiful There's no mistakes in how He puts you together Even when it's hard for you to see No need to try and become somebody different Only thing you got to do is believe He already thinks you're beautiful He loves you just the way you are And nothing you can do Could ever change His point of view He already thinks you're beautiful You're beautiful, you're beautiful You're beautiful, you're beautiful (You're beautiful) When you can see it (You're beautiful) And when you can't (You're beautiful) Oh, [beloved?], don't forget (You're beautiful) At your weakest (You're beautiful) And at your best (You're beautiful) Oh, [beloved?], don't forget (You're beautiful) Don't forget (You're beautiful) Oh, don't forget He already thinks you're beautiful He loves you just the way you are And nothing you can do Could ever change His point of view He already thinks you're beautiful
