I STILL hate roller coasters
It has been a little while since I have made a blog post. Life still feels like a roller coaster, but then again, it always does for some reason. I guess, depending on my mood, how I handle what life deals me can make the roller coaster seem like a kiddie ride or an adrenaline-junkie's thrill ride at Six Flags. Did I mention that I STILL don't like roller coasters...at all?
The good news...my health is all back in check. It took months, literally, to get back to feeling like myself again. In the grand scheme, it was worth feeling like a hyper-sensitive basket case everyday to feel like the REAL Michael again. Going through the rough paths, I didn't really realize how bad I felt. I mean, you know it is bad when the people that you love notice that you are different. It was a ROUGH journey...really rough, but I am glad that I stuck with my doctor's plan. I prayed over and over that God would give me the wisdom to know what the right path was for me and lead me to the right doctors, and He answered those prayers. It reminds me of a really great verse: Matthew 7: 7 - 8: "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you."
This last month has been filled with major changes in my job (my assistant quit and the company won't hire anyone else immediately, so guess who gets to do EVERYTHING???) and my 7 month old puppy broke her leg. I pray that you never have to deal with an animal with a health issue, or an expensive leg surgery (a plate and 7 screws in her tiny leg). Couple the round-the-clock care that she needs with a ton more work and I am mentally and emotionally spent. All of these stresses are completely out of my control...and I HATE not being in control (because I have control issues....like most everyone). The more I try to control things, the more they spin out of control. It is these times when I know that I have to give the control to God. I KNOW this and come to this crossroads over and over and over. Matthew 11:28: "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. As always, He has answered that prayer. I am learning to accept the things that I cannot change, and to always look for the silver lining in every negative situation...believe me, it is not easy, but I promise that there is one. It is all about my favorite word: PERSPECTIVE.
BD Issues...well, I still have them. I would love to tell you the getting my meds regulated and feeling like "the BEST Michael that I have been in months" made all of my issue melt away. Well, it did and, as a side note, I started raising unicorns in my backyard, won the lottery and discovered a way to reverse the aging process. In all seriousness, my issues are still there. The positive is still that feeling more mentally stable, I can deal with them more rationally and less hyper-emotionally. As you know, there are good days and bad days, high highs and low lows. When things get out of control, I tend to turn inward but I KNOW that is the last thing that I need to do. I have an amazing outlet, this blog, where I can turn and just get it all out and know that I will never be judged. Bringing light to the darkness.
